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Since I don't see any actual gentlemen in this room, I'll ask all of the shambling and drooling jackoffs in pants to siddle over to this other wall ... unless you'd like to grow a pair of balls and object. Please resist ... I'm really hoping and praying that a few of you do."I needn't have worried, as the center of the Great Hall began to clear out one of the guests, a rather huge blood-red Unicorn stepped forward and grunted out some sort of a challenge to me."What is your major malfunction, hay for brains?" I asked him. "Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a little pony? Still whining that you didn't get a little girl to ride you for your birthday? Either shut up your whinnying and step back or come and get me and get your ass beat like a dead horse."These were mortal insults that no Unicorn could ignore and infuriated he galloped across the floor creating sparks as his hooves hit the stone. I could have shot him and probably ought to have shot him,. I was downing a PB and J, while the girls were eating something green. The munchkins were playing on the tennis court, trying to hit the ball over the net, occasionally succeeding. Doris is away on one of her little excursions. There is this little old lady from town who Doris has known for like fifty years or something. She is a widow and Doris considers her a friend. We just didn't feel right sending Doris on these trips all by herself. So when we found out about Janice Edwards, we offered to pay her way if she would agree to accompany Doris. So these two old chicks fly around the country, having a ball. They are in Arizona this time.Just as I was taking a sip of my chocolate milk, Donnie springs the question. "Andrew, would you consider fathering a child for one of our cousins?"Did you ever get chocolate milk up your nose? It isn't a pleasant experience, let me assure you. When I had recovered from the result of her question I tried to respond. "Donnie, please don't say things.
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