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Scooping coffee into the machine, I add an extra measure. Ill need all of the help I can get today. Though I had hoped for a dreamless sleep, my subconscious mind had not complied. As I slept, I had relived some of our best and worst moments. Upon waking, I was left to wonder if the best had really been as good and the worst had actually been as bad as they were in my dreams. I remove the milk carton from the fridge, then open the cupboard. Crap! Theres no more than a handful of cereal in the box&hellip, I guess she might have been right about making a list before you actually go grocery shopping. I never did, and I had forgotten to buy more cereal. Fortunately, I have other options&hellip, I reach back into the cupboard and pull out one of the six boxes of cookies that my niece the Girl Scout just gouged me thirty bucks for. At least I can drink the milk right out of the carton again, without having to hear about it from the complaint department. As I wait for the coffee, I take. What I had done. The uncertainty I was left with after an ambush. There was one enemy down and I still don’t know who did it. The depraved sexual life I had thrown myself into was another form of self-abuse, worse than the drugs and alcohol.I looked down at the book. It was all now out of me and I felt lighter. It took a half a box of tissues to get cleaned up. The therapist had been crying throughout and had to clean up as well.“I want to see you twice a week if you can. Once a week if you can’t. Every two weeks if you don’t really want to get through this quickly,” she joked at the end. I laughed and it felt good. It felt genuine.We would continue to see each other twice a week for months as I worked through each of those issues, rehashing them over and over sometimes until it no longer bothered me as much.The therapist had recommended a sex therapist as well to treat my issues there. I had, over the years, formed so many unhealthy ideas and it was time to regain my ability to be.
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