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Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement... ! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir. As I stepped over him with one foot and placed it on the other side of his thigh so I was facing the shelter's concrete wall, he grabbed my knickered hips under my pinafore and held me tight. I struggled but couldn't move. I obviously couldn't move his hands over the pinafore so pulled it up to try and prize his hands off my knickers. As soon as I pulled the hem up to my waist he pulled my kickers down to my knees. I looked down and goggled in shock! His eyes level with my now bare mound. He pulled my hips towards him. I let go of the hem and held onto the wall in front of me, the hem dropping over his head. I felt something squishy touch my mound - and began to lick! Wonderful feelings began to flow as Eric's tongue began to dart purposely into my slit. I began to move my hips as he circled and pressed his tongue relentlessy against my clitoris and slit. The deep aching pleasure began to build and build. I looked down at Eric's head under the hem, the pleats spreading out over him.
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