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”Look, I appreciate the odd night outwith the girls, and I have to dine out the occasional evening for work, but normally, Ispend the weekends recovering from the week, and evenings in the week I just wanna comehome and be waiting on hand and foot — and now I am… so…“ She shrugged, and finished”… so if I don't go out, why should he?“I didn't know how to answer that!”Well, yeah, hmmm,“ I said, lamely.Then he was back with the coffee. Sue's eyes twinkled wickedly as he poured. She gave mea wicked grin when he had finished pouring, then looked up at him and asked curtly:”You have knickers to wash, I think?“”Yes, Ma'am.“”Off you go then, chop chop!“I watched the wretch scurry away. I felt sorry for him. Sort of. But not much. He hadmade Sue's life miserable. And now he was paying!”Washing knickers?“ I enquired of Sue.”Oh, yes!“ she breezily replied, like it was the most natural thing in the world.”But… haven't you got a washing machine?“Not any more. It's all done by hand, at the kitchen. One by one, he finds out their stories(the mothers dress like tarts and it is embarrassing for their children tobe seen in public with their mothers dressed so sexy). Then he brings outthe mothers, who are greeted by a resounding chorus of boos from thestudio audience.Hey, this isn't so bad, I realize. Each mother's narcissism is exposed.The audience sides with the kids because their mothers don't pay attentionto how their dressing in public makes their child feel. This is my kindashow. No wonder they're saving Felicia for last. All except one of theother mothers is fat and uneducated. Their revealing outfits show morethan anyone would want to see.Finally, Maury turns to me. "Justin Johnson. Your mother's a model.You're embarrassed by how she dresses in public. Tell me about it."I'm nervous in front of the cameras, but I say, "She wears really shortskirts, and everywhere we go people turn their heads and gawk at her.It's embarrassing. She's my mother. And when my friends.
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