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Peepee the little willie beating the piss out of the big dicks. I had Bulov in the first round. Bulov the Belarusian Bore. My games against him always became drawn-out siege scenarios in dreary landscapes with severe shortage of water or pouring rain. It ended in a draw, as usual. Bulov smelled sour like old socks and nibbled raw carrots while playing. My hotel room was too fake-grand. Fake leather couch, thick carpet and a lot of metal that pathetically tried to look like gold. The chords were just plain wrong and something had to be done. My drum kit would have cowed the room into submission easily and if I had been a famous rock star or something it might have been tolerated. Chess players are not expected to be noisy, though, we are more quietly nuts. I took a walk to try and find something that would balance the chords. In a big toy store I found the very thing – a glockenspiel. Between games I then sat in my room and played Nirvana tunes on my glockenspiel, which I named. A un certo punto entrarono due donne vestite da punk, minacciarono la commessa col coltello di darle i soldi, l'altra invece da dietro mi teneva un coltello sulle palle, la situazione in qualche modo mi eccitava, volevo aiutare la commessa, ma anche farmi colpire, ero indeciso, però optai per la commessa, volevo essere il suo eroe così da avere la possibilità di uscire con lei, diedi una gomitata a quella dietro per spostarla, me nemmeno due passi che mi colpì in pieno con le sue new rock dritto nelle palle con una ferocia tale che rimasi immobile da dolore, mi si fece una macchia sui pantaloni, lo notarono l'altra ladra e la commessa, ero venuto, un orgasmo in piena regola, caddi in ginocchio. Le due ladre si misero a ridere e dileggiarmi, anche la commessa rideva sommessa, non avrebbe voluto ma la cosa in qualche modo la divertiva, però dallo sguardo era anche preoccupata, fu un orgasmo strepitoso, ero in astinenza da 32 giorni, furono più di 2 minuti di puro piacere. Ne avrei.
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