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I knew to keep letting it ring. He liked to make himself seem important by making the caller wait. He picked up on the thirteenth ring. “Hello?” he said. Man, this guy was smooth. If there was one person I could kill and trade lives with, maybe by cutting his skin off and wearing it – I don’t know – it would be Steve. “Hello?” Steve said again, getting a little annoyed. I told him it was me and he said me, who and I said Jared and he said Jared, who? “From Whole Foods, remember?” I said. “I was buying all that laxative…” “Oh, right. Jared. Yeah. What’s up?” I told him about my dilemma and what would his suggestion be? He gave me a phone number to call and said, “Ask for Angela. She loves a cum shower.” “What’s a—?” “Hey, Jar, I gotta go. Good luck, man. And remember: cum shower.” Click. Cum shower? I thought about Googling it but I felt embarrassed. I knew what a shower was, that part was obvious. And I knew what cum was, thanks to another conversation with Steve when I ran into. But that didn't make sense, his stillslightly exhausted mind interjected. If he had tried to commit suicidehe wouldn't be alone here. There would be a suicide watch. Heck, theyprobably would have chained him to the bed. And why the facialinjuries? It didn't feel like burns, so the only way he could have gotthem is if someone had dragged him to the hospital on his face. Jameschuckled slightly at the thought of his overweight landlord trying tomanhandle him to a car by dragging his legs. Not very likely. "Oh, you're up." The voice was his mother, Anne. Oh God. The lastthing he needed after an unsuccessful suicide was his mother. He waitedfor the recriminations, as he turned towards the door. "How are you feeling?" the young looking woman at the door askedhim. Young? James stared at his mother; at least she looked and soundedlike her. The woman in her late thirties who looked back at him had anexpression of concern on her face. There was no anger; just anaffection and what seemed a.
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