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" When?" Mom asked."In the tenth grade. One of the jocks started picking on me and I decked him before he knew what happened. His buddies tried to beat me up, but I took them out too. After that, no one bothered me," I said."Why didn't you tell me?" Mom wanted to know."It wasn't important. I did what I had to do and that was that. I didn't hurt anyone, I didn't have to."Jackie smiled at me and said, "JR, don't take this wrong, but you really need to go shopping. You'll die in those black clothes of yours. It gets hot down here." I like my clothes," I said. I thought about what I had said about making a fresh start and decided it was time to begin. "Do you think you could go with me? I don't know what the kids wear down here." Sure, we can go tomorrow if you want to. We have a couple of malls close by," Jackie said.Mom said she thought it would be a good idea. She said she would pay for whatever I needed.After dinner, Jackie and Mo cleared the table. Mom gave me one of her glances and. Rather likewomen themselves, tits are protean (that's "protean," not "protein").They're shape-shifters, fluctuating and variable. Therein lies much ofthe mystique and much of their appeal.Tits can perform tricks, too. One tit can be lifted, nipple to mouth,while the other is left in place. They can both be cupped in one'shands, either by their owner or her lover and thus "juggled." They makehandy substitutes for purses, as anyone knows who's ever seen a ladystuff a roll of dollar bills down her bra for safekeeping, and they canbe of assistance in the application of a woman's lipstick, as anyoneknows who's seen Molly Ringwald perform this trick in The Breakfast Club.For the more imaginative and adventurous woman, a hand-held dildo canbecome a tit-held playmate. Undeniably, tits have sex appeal. Eventheir mere presence can enhance a woman's career, as Dolly Parton'scomment to Bill O'Reilly indicates: "Sometimes, I don't know whether I'msupporting them or they're supporting.
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