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And the letters and money just come pouring in, it really is most gratifying.Anyway, when I was stuck in that dingy office with Janine and her green eye shadow she banged on and on about how these columns weren't about me but about the saddos and their letters. Really? When I say 'banged on' I mean that quite literally because she had some cheap biro that she kept tapping on the table to emphasise each word, and if that isn't the most annoying personal habit imaginable then I don't know what is. So, just for you Janine, let's go 'to the letter'. Though it's more of a novella than a letter really, and not just any old novella but one of those really dreary Henry James novellas that insist on telling you where the tablecloth was made and how many pieces of cutlery were on the table and what cakes were served and in which order. Now I love a bit of late Victorian chick-lit as much as the next girl but in an advice column letter? What's wrong with just saying 'Hey Cummies, I'm thinking. She told me that she had been staying with her boyfriend in Martinsburg, West Virginia and that they had a Big Fight and she was going back home to Richmond.I guess somehow she noticed that I couldn't keep my eyes off of her, and out of the blue she looked over at me and asked, do you like what you see. and of course I said yes. I kept on driving for a few more miles and she said do you mind stopping whenever you can, I really need to pee. I said I would pull over at the next exit and she said ok. When I came to the next exit I pulled off and went into a gas station and she got out and went to the ladies room. She was gone about 5 minutes or so and when she came out I noticed that she was no longer wearing a bra. She got back in the car and we continued on. This made it even harder to keep my eyes off of her and she knew that because she kept looking over and smiling. She looked over at me and sais you would like to touch these wouldn't you, of course I said Yes. I figured that was.
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