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Kissinger says, “I’m the smartest person in the world. I must be saved,” grabs a pack and jumps.The Pope turns to the Boy Scout. “My son, I have lived a ling, full life. Take the other parachute and save yourself.”The Boy Scout just smiles. “Don’t worry, Your Holiness. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of. When we touch any animal, we can absorb their DNA and morph into it, but only for two hours. After two hours, we become a nothlit, the animal we changed into, forever, like Tobias, the red-tailed hawk.There are seven of us: Jake, our leader; Rachel, his fearless Xena-like cousin; Marco, Jake’s sarcastic best friend, Cassie, the resident tree-hugger; Aximili, the Andalite whose brother gave us our morphing power; Tobias, the hawk who has regained the ability to morph; and of course, me. Together we make up the Animorphs. I’ve been thinking a lot about that night when it all started. All of the others have this 'connection'. You see: Marco, whose best friend is Jake, likes Cassie, whose best friend is Jake’s cousin, Rachel. Tobias was the kid Jake saved from bullies, and Ax, who we rescued later, is somehow Tobias’ uncle. Me, I’ve been the outsider. While the others were just entering their teens, I’m about the age of Jake’s Controller brother, Tom. It’s come in handy when we don’t.
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