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I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?A: Travelled by bus?The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -Q: What warning was given by you?A: Horn.Q: What warning was given by the other party?A: Moo.“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.”“On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.”“I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.”“I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight”“I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.”“First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.”“Windscreen. ’ ‘Okay, I’ll grab a quick shower and be right back. Give me twenty minutes, then you can start the meat.’ ‘Twenty, got it. Holler if you need help.’ ‘Tease!’ she said, grabbing his wine and carrying it upstairs. Thirty minutes later they were sitting down to dinner. Ray mentioned that their parents had called and told him the roads hadn’t been cleared from the storm yet, so they were going to extend their stay in Pine Bluff. He added that he had informed them of his intention to ask Amy to marry him. Mom had sounded very happy, but Dad had just offered the advice to wait until after the wedding to knock her up. Amy sat looking at him wide eyed. ‘When?’ ‘They called this afternoon.’ ‘Not that, silly. When?’ ‘When what?’ he asked, taking a bite of steak. ‘Damn you for being obtuse, Ray Edwards! When were you going to ask me?’ ‘Ask you what?’ She flew around the table and, sitting in his lap, started flailing away at him, lightly slapping him around his head and shoulders. ‘Oooooooh,.
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