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. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, takes a selfie with his cell phone, then turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:“Want coffee.”The waiter says “Whoa! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Training for position in Trudeau’s Liberal government: Come in, drink coffee, get selfie, shoot the bull, leave shit for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”One day, the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting archbishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas. When he arrives in his pope mobile, he sees a man struggling for his life against a shark. Upon a closer look he notices that it is John. He raced inside, knowing Mrs Judd would be watching Soaps on TV and phoned the Sheriff’s Department to report a missing blonde young woman in white. ‘Yes, there’s an APB out on a 22-year-old missing from the Walton Finishing School for Young Ladies. Tom Bates you jerk, you’ve kidnapped the sweet young thing and had your way with her you pig and now you’ve been forced by your guilty conscience to report her,’ said the dispatcher, who was a friend of Tom’s mother. ‘Deputies will be coming out to get you both — you’ll swing for this you creep.’ Friend of his mother’s? Friend seemed unlikely he thought, not yet ready to panic. Tom was sure the death penalty in his state was limited to crimes against the Governor and burning the flag. Or was that correct? Kidnapping — but what about kidnapping? He ran off for a nervous pee thinking he should be a hero, not a fucking menace to society. That was Kevin. Deputies in two cars arrived, sirens wailing, followed by a ambulance that overtook them.
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