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He scoots down onto the floor with me, looking at me intently. "It's not that I worry about you wanting kids yet, it’s just that, where kids are concerned, I just don't think I'm ready for that, if ever." His eyes grow dark as he speaks, and I just can't help myself. "Why don't you think you would be a good dad?" He sighs. "You know I didn't have to best...upbringing. I shut my feelings down for so long, sometimes...sometimes I get overwhelmed by it all. I'm afraid I might be as callous with my child as father was with me and even my siblings. I don't know if I would ever be willing to have a child, even with you."I felt heat flood my face, and sadness fill me. "Gaara-kun, I don't think you would do any of that, I know you would care for your child." He looks at me, his expression pained. "I'm sorry Hinata, I just can't. I don't want to be a father with the possibility I just described. I know you probably want children sometime, but I cannot provide that for you."I look at my hands,. I mentioned to them that I needed to go the whole way and it wasn’t long before they had arranged another night, except this time there was going to be a young guy there who loved trannies. Over the next few weeks, I waited in anticipation, feeling quite desperate. I wanted it so much that I used to get hard every time I thought about it. When the night actually arrived I remember feeling that this was the true moment when I could be Lucy Lou, the tranny slut. They had sent me photos of the guy and I liked what I saw, a lot. I couldn’t wait and made the decision not to tell the guy it was my first time. I knew what I had to do.We had a great, light meal and ended up sitting together on the sofa. We chatted for a while and got on well. Then the other two left. I was alone with a twenty-five-year-old gay guy who loved cross-dressers. His name was Tom. I moved the conversation on to sex and asked him what he liked. He wanted his cock sucked like mad and asked if I swallowed. I told Tom.
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