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It was they who taught me a plenitude of things I could scarcely imagine at such a tender age. They also taught me the employment of a sheep’s intestine to prevent their impregnation, though I now do detest the things and refuse to allow any retention of my germinal essence. For it is in the way of all nature that the buck, the ram, the bull and the stallion broadcast their seed as far and as wide as they be able. This is the proper order with which we tamper to our peril. In my circumstances I am able to broadcast well far. I am satisfied to say I have sired many litters of unwanted bastards.For me the Grand Tour was an exploration of the sexual mores and practices of many nations. Indeed I did sample extensively of the bordellos, brothels and bawdy houses of Europe and Asia Minor. I learnt of many practices and perversions with which to whet my appetite in the bedroom and the dungeon. It was at this time I discovered a predilection for inflicting suffering on the female. It is true. Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the terrifying experience he had just had.A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying and wasn't drunk.Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other:"Look Paddy ... there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!"Oh!!! Sooo good!!Dr. Geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to.
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