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You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off. My kick to his groin took him all the way to the ground and I had punched him four more time in the face while he was on the ground before the MP’s got to me.My greatest satisfaction was that we were BOTH court martialled. He for conduct unbecoming and me for striking a superior officer. I spent a year in military prison for the assault before being dishonourably discharged and he just got kicked out of the service, losing his pension. It took me another year to find her, she had moved to Canada and was living with a French-Canadian businessman. I had no idea what had happened to Colonel Edwards, but he had got lost along the way.I did consider just shooting her from a distance. It would have been so easy. No security, no overwatch, just a woman out in public, like shooting fish in a barrel, but then she would never know what hit her, nor why. I needed this to be more personal, needed her to understand who had killed her and why.In the end she made it so simple for me. She was out.
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