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. ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall...‘Big breaths, ‘ ... I instructed.‘Yes, they used to be, ‘ ... Replied the patient.Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.Not more than five minutes later, I heard herReporting to the rest of the family that he hadDied of a ‘massive internal fart.’Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’After a look of complete confusion she answered...‘ Why, not for about twenty years - when. Stephanie wanted to sit at the bar since she had never been in a “real bar” before. I ordered her a signature Vbar blue Lychee martini. We sat at the bar for a while and she thought the drink was “super yummeee”. I then took her out to the balcony to sit on a plush oversize seat and look down on Santana Row. It was a really nice evening, not too hot and not too cold and Stephanie loved looking down as all the cool cars pulled into the valet car park along Santana Row. When a Bugatti arrived she giggled and asked me what kind of car it was and said, “Isn’t that the kind of car where Tom Cruise couldn’t open the door for Katie? Oh Rob, that youtube is soooooo funny. You have to watch it.”We laughed together at the image of Tom Cruise pulling at the door handle. Stephanie leaned in and whispered in my ear,“See Rob, Katie likes Tom and he’s loads older than her. He seems to keep her happy in bed, if you know what I mean. They even have a kid. So it’s not unusual that I find.
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