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I worked at suggesting sex evenbefore he did, and believe me that was hard. I triedto introduce new twists and turns and techniques thathe had never thought of, which was also hard. Whenthere was something I just wouldn’t do — like anal —I promised it to him after we were married. I dideverything I could to convince him that I was as eagerfor 24-hour sex as he was.“Once we were married, I kept this up on our honeymoonand a few months after that, but I began to taper offvery gradually, so slowly that he didn’t notice. Ikept track of the number of times we had sex each week— would you believe at first we did it at least twiceevery night — and reduced the number by one everythree weeks.“My first big challenge was anal. He kept reminding meof my promise, and I knew that it was a promise I wasnever going to keep. I started by telling him it was abig step for me and something that I felt would bothhurt and be demeaning to me, and it would. I overheard Auntie Pru talking with Trish’s mother, yclept Megan, “At least yours is an adult.”I later puzzled it out. Froggy and I continued to live at home. Odd definition of maturity — defenestrating oneself from the nest, but there you go.It didn’t take long for word to calculate around BB that Ms. Sloane had a rather largish brain. I asked her, with a suavity that becomes me well, “Do you eat a lot of fish?”“Yes, I love seafood. Why?”“Just curious.”Now I may well start ordering oysters and poached salmon and the like. Crabcakes. There’s always room for a few more cells, cranium-wise.My immediate dilemma, the horns of which upon which I was perched, was Trish McGovern. Not that Trish had antlers, nothing like that. In fact, she was a shapely little missy, quite lovely. A real dish. Known her all my life.In the theoretical, talking about other people, I’m all in favor of marriage. In the abstraction. I’ve even attended a few weddings — friends, classmates, the like. It’s not like.
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