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Waking up next to the monsters under my bed was another.When Monty Python declared, ‘no one ready for the Spanish Inquisition,’ he wasn’t kidding. If we ain’t ready to cry havoc and nuke our neighbors, we sure as shit ain’t prepared for the technology-killing chaos raging in the heavens above; just another random event dished out by a disinterested universe. Nothing personal. Shit happens.“Stay calm and carry the fuck along. Deal with it. Build a bridge and get over it,” I said aloud to myself as I took the stairs two at a time.“Excellent advice,” Sheila’s voice echoed from above as an “Amen brother,” sounded from below.Next time I talk to myself, I gotta remember to whisper.The winding descent into the cave took forever as terror and adrenaline compressed focus and extended my perception of time. The second hand on my watch refused to advance as moments oozed into minutes which stretched into hours.The clatter of scores of human feet pounding on the metal treads echoed like thunder. Dude, and Dudess, Man." Dude! Check out the chicks in the river. Nice rack, Blondie." Yeah Man. Best breasts in the west. Hey, Chione! Lookin' good, babe!" Dude! You know that chick?" Yup, like oranges or grapefruit! Man." Dude, she's your main squeeze?" We got a thing. She's part of the Six, Man." Dude! That's so cool." Man! The Six pretty much run the commune." Dude?" The Six, man, you dig it?" Six? Dude. Where you coming from?" You know, Man. The carpet riders. The Six." Whoa! Dude! I can dig it. That's The Man? He's Huge!" Naw, Man. The Tall Dude is Kurt, Big Stick." He is ALL that, Dude." The screamer? From this morning? Carol? The old lady? She's his mom, Man." Dude! The Stick brought his mom?" Whatever did it. Bogus! If you ask me! Man, that's Pretty - Damn - Bogus. Kidnap a guys mom, Grand mom, Great Aunt, twin sisters, the Lez, and the baby? Bogus!" Dude! That's not cool!" Man, The twins are hot, but they brought their boyfriends. Shit, man. Whatever brought everybody in the.
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