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' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank God, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful, ' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them ... You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how. So now at 18 years old i am jobless and without a girlfriend and its just coming to the summer.Paul is my best friend he is from a well off family and he turned up at my house one day in June and asked if i wanted to head out to Portugal with him for the summer, His parents had a 2 bedroom villa out there and they were not planning on going out there this year, He had convinced them it would be a good idea if the 2 of us went out there to look after the place for the summer and get bar jobs when we were there to pay our way, i sat there listening to him explain how he had convinced them and how he was even willing to help me out with the air fair. It seemed like a perfect way to spend a summer so what the hell there is nothing keeping me here so a week later ..we are packed and heading off for what would be a life changing summer for me.Walking into the Villa that first day was fantastic, it had air con and a real nice pool outsidePaul ran off and grabbed the bedroom his parents.
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I actually enjoyed standing back and watching him at work in the clubs and pubs, chatting to the ladies and then hearing about it in detail the next day. I admired the guy, still do in a strange way, but it's not the same anymore. It all changed when he met Charlene.I was instantly attracted to Charlene from the moment I first met her. But like most of the women that have come and gone from Jason's life I felt that Charlene was way out of my league. To me she is the perfect woman, prefect body shape, perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect skin tone. I would even go as far as to say she has the perfect voice. The only imperfection is her boyfriend. In the eight years Jason has been with Charlene I must have covered for him a thousand times. In the early stages of their relationship, well for the first month or so, it seemed like Jason had found the one. But before long he was back to his old ways. I payed no mind to it at first, I would cover for him no matter what, he's my best mate.

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