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9. How did you survive with all the coke, alcohol and abuse Jack put youthrough? Are those memories as painful today as you remember thosedays?Some are. I never asked to be punched or treated like shit. I neverasked to be raped. Those things stay with you - and not in a good way. Overall though, the drugs and the drink and stuff, I did that to myself.10. Do you read the entries and get aroused by the memories? Or do youjust view them as what you needed to do to become the woman you aretoday?More the latter. I think some of the things I've done are really hot.Problem is, in a lot of cases, I wasn't happy with myself and my body atthose times, so I don't always see the beauty of a woman being takenwhen I close my eyes; I see the extra half inch of fat at my midsection.Not always, mind you, but sometimes. I was always chasing perfection.In a lot of ways I still am. The difference is, I'm happy with me now. I still drive myself hard every day to be my best, but I've found peaceand. Jenny always seemed the odd one out, petite, only 5'4", black shiny hair cut in a bob, and very much the introvert. Apart from Claire who'd joined the group a year back they'd all been together on and off since we arrived in this house.I have worked from home for the few years since my divorce and found that it suited me perfectly. That is until this summer. I'd positioned my desk to look out across the pool and down the garden. This had seemed ideal, in fact was ideal, until the distraction of so much near naked feminine flesh. I'd assumed that this torment from the girls was wholly unintentional but the last few days I'd began to wonder. Cherie had taken to lying on her sun lounger directly outside my window, usually with her feet pointing towards me and as far apart as the lounger would comfortably permit.This of course provided me with an extremely good view of her barely covered pussy. She obviously shaved her bikini line, which in keeping with current fashion was quite high..
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