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I thought that our GP would be willing to do the tests and write the certificate. I'll show you the club's web site.”“So, why didn't you tell me about this club when I raised the issue of STDs?”“I'm sorry. I was just obsessed by the memories of those first times. I wasn't thinking very logically. Come and look at that web site with me.”Our GP, Louisa, looked puzzled when we asked her to check us both for STDs and sign certificates that we were clean, so we eventually had to tell her about the club that we were planning to visit. When she understood what we wanted and why, she asked us what types of sex we each indulged in.“I take a cock in my cunt, my arse or my mouth. I often have men spray my face and tits with their cum. My tits aren't big enough for tit fucking, so I don't do that.”“You don't ever eat pussy then?”“Oh! Yes. I'm sorry. I pride myself on my ability to make a girl cum by eating her pussy.”“And what about you, Fred? How do you fuck?”“I like to fuck a woman in any hole. They would just need to modify their plans slightly. Trevor gave John a serious look and said to him, ‘John, you need to be extremely careful. I will make the point of stating that I have no idea what you are doing or who it is against. Saying that for the record as I have to be careful due to the business I am in. Knowing the wrong things can be hazardous to my health. ‘I will now say that the guy you could be seeing tonight is one bad apple. The more remote areas around here contain some buried bones of those who pissed him off. Whoever he is, that is, which I don’t of course know. These vans are not mine so just leave them anywhere you like. The cops can find them and return them to the rightful owners. I do suggest a thorough clean out with bleach or similar so you do not leave anything behind. Not that the cops would bother too much with evidence in stolen vehicles unless you left your business card behind. Chances are the insurance company has paid the owners and these will go.
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