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NOTE FOUND ON YOUR WIFE'S VANITYHank, I can't do this any more. I love you, but you're not the man Imarried.Everything I did, I did for you. But now I realised you didn't give ashit about me at all, you cheating ass.So from today, we're going to start again. We're going to finally start afamily, with three kids, a cat and a dog. And you're going to be utterlyfaithful to me as my little wife.There. We're swapping bodies. I'm going to be Hank the Pro FootballQuarterback, and you can be Christina, the cheerleader who had to retireat 25.Think I'm kidding? Try to look away from this note...you can't, can you?W showed me how. See how the note stays in front of your face even whenyou move, so you can't see anything but the note and your thumb?Say, what's going on with your thumb? Yeah. Looks smaller than youremember, huh? And the nail, see how it looks plasticky and glossy andsparkly red? Those are fake nails. The sort you said you liked. The sortI've been wearing since our second date. But Ed was fun, a Good Time Charlie, always doing something or other, liked to party. He wasn’t one of those guys who just sits around drinking all the time; he had lots of friends, and they always did things—still do things—together. Hunting, fishing, playing sports, camping. I liked to be around that. I was a little more introverted—I know, you’re probably going to laugh at that, right? But I was. Still am. So I always enjoyed being around that sort of… energy, I guess.“It’s just, these last few years… I don’t know. He still has fun, still does all those things. But me? Not so much anymore. The fun part, I mean. Things just aren’t quite as fun anymore. I don’t know why. I don’t blame him. He’s exactly the way he’s always been. It’s something with me.“What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did with you. I don’t mean the sex part. I mean the flirting part. The teasing part. I don’t know if I ever thought you would act on it or not. I don’t know if I even.
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