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The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a. Oh there were plenty of women around. I was a man of power; I was a State Senator, in the news, and on TV. The women were there. I just used them for sexual relief. There was no emotional bonding. Some of them were just foe one overnight, and some were longer affairs.But they all ended up leaving me because I just wouldn't commit. Something was always missing in those relationships.One night after a fine dinner with John, we were sitting on his deck discussing politics, smoking fine cigars and sipping brandy, when he changed the subject,"Why haven't you found a woman yet?" What?" I was floored by his question.He immediately went into the fine points of having a wife. Besides the cooking, cleaning, and family-raising, she would also be a great political asset. Nothing looks finer to the voters than a man and his family standing before them, reflecting their values.I took another puff on my cigar, and chased it with a sip of brandy, and thought about what he said.Then I remember the.
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