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She looked absurd, wearing the cup as if it were a very baggy hood. ‘She’s had this made specially,’ she said. ‘You couldn’t get something like this off the peg, even in that specialist shop Alicia goes to.’ She abruptly sat up and whipped the grotesque bra cup off her head, looking at me with great concern. ‘Alicia! James, what about Alicia? She’ll be so hurt.’ ‘She’ll be fine,’ I told her complacently. ‘Oh, good,’ she replied, instantly reassured. I marvelled at the power of FUCK. Wendy looked thoughtfully at the bra again. ‘James, darling,’ she asked, ‘if her bust is this big now, what on earth is it going to be like when Albert’s potion gets to work on it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ I told her, ‘but I’m looking forward to finding out.’ ‘Well,’ said Wendy philosophically, ‘I’m sure she’ll like the result as much as you do. By the way,’ she added casually, ‘you haven’t told me her name.’ Even fuelled by FUCK I felt embarrassed. ‘I don’t know it,’ I confessed. ‘I never got round to asking. In. ‘It’s a nice house. When, exactly, were you going to tell me about this decision?’ His voice was cold. Denise looked anxiously at Anne. This had begun badly. Anne stood her ground. ‘Stan, we hadn’t actually done anything yet. We’re looking –‘ ‘Huh! Just looking! It sounded like you’d decided, to me when I walked in!’ Anne bit a bitter retort back behind her teeth. She had indeed made a decision, but Stan had intruded… Stan misinterpreted her hesitation and ploughed on, though. ‘Well I don’t know that I want to move. I’m comfortable in my own home, the home I built together with my wife — you remember her?’ ‘Oh, that’s so unfair Stan! Of course I remember your wife!’ Denise decided it was time she took a hand. ‘Stan, love, please calm down and think for a minute? Please?’ ‘Calm down!?’ ‘Yes, Stan, we all need to take a breather here,’ Denise told him. She rounded on Anne and told her ‘You too, Anne! We need a time out before someone says or does something we’ll all regret!’ Denise.
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