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Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green. Yes, she nodded, it was a good time... the first day of school... fall at last in the air, a new season... a perfect psychological moment."For God's sake, pay attention!" Ray snapped at her suddenly, and she jumped. Hadn't she been paying attention? "You don't want to stay here at all, do you?" he continued accusingly. "You don't like Tennessee--you want to move to a city--why don't you come right out and say so?" Oh, no," she said, seating herself in her husband's lap, "I do want to stay here, darling. All our plans... and there's our lot in Hickory Acres... I want exactly what you do. I-it's just that I'm afraid you'll be so disappointed if--" she broke off, tears in her lovely gray eyes."I'm sorry, honey," he groaned, "I'm trying to take out my own doubts and frustrations on you. Sometimes I even wonder if we should have got married at all... your parents were right you know, you could have done a lot better." Ray Denham, you stop that silly talk! I could never in this world have.
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