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‘Not really,’ he replied as he finished typing. ‘I thought I had made myself quite clear…you were supposed to be wearing one of them last week-end. Would you prefer that I make an appointment to get you pierced?’ He glanced up at her again. Was this an attempt to re-establish some dominance over him after ignoring him for the last two weeks? Where had she been? Did it matter? Was he interested in the kind of relationship where she showed up occasionally to give him some meager attention? He already had enough experience with the casual and almost platonic life with Lucy to last him a lifetime. ‘Why don’t you just save yourself the time and energy?’ ‘Save myself the…whatever do you mean? I’m doing this for you…I thought you wanted this.’ ‘I must seem pretty pathetic to you, don’t I?’ he asked as he logged off and glanced up and closed the laptop. She silently eased into his office and took a seat on the fake leather couch which was next to the door. Her features were still somewhat in. Then the mood passes and I feel that door to the world I have seen, slowly close and seal itself, never to be opened again. Footsteps echoing hauntingly down a deserted stone hallway. Reverberating and bouncing from wall to wall down to the depths of myself, to that small scared, never shown self. Filling me with unknown longing and wonder. Sometimes, when I am walking outside I will simply stare at the world around me. It is funny how we can live our whole life without ever really living. To simply exist. I sometimes wonder if I am truly meant to be something in this world. I always seem to look at things so much differently than everyone else. I smile when others are silent, I laugh when no one is around…I am different. When I am all alone I feel as though I am mere inches from some great truth that I am supposed to find and understand, but can never reach. As though the path I am following is of my own making and yet, not at all, at the same time. I wish I knew what to do. The.
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