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What you don’t know is how torn-up I was inside. The reason I wouldn’t commit to you had nothing to do with Birgit, or Becky, or anything like that. They were just convenient excuses. I didn’t feel that I was worthy of you. I didn’t feel I was worthy of anyone, really. But you were different. Yes, you had your issues, but we all did. The bottom line was that you cared about me in ways that nobody else did. And that’s why I pushed you away. I was afraid if you ever heard the truth, you’d hate me. And I just couldn’t take it.“But then I discovered that you had a tremendous capacity for love and ability to look past the bad things that happened in people’s lives, and even the bad things they did. Sadly, I didn’t figure that out until I decided to go to Stanford and wrecked any possible future that we might have had together. I know now that you had decided to be with me, and maybe you were doing it for the wrong reasons, but you didn’t care about the past, only the future.“All of that. She waved me over. I went over and sat down with her. Thelast of the boys was exiting the trees and saw us. "You "girls" have anice night" he said. I assumed he was trying to insult me because of myskinny build.After a while, Julie said, "Why did you mention my nails?" I was a littlecaught by this. I was afraid I had revealed my intense passion forpolished nails to someone. I said, "Oh, my mother and sister polish theirnails, and I think it's pretty. So I guess that's why I notice it." Would you like to come have dinner at my house?" she asked. My immediatedesire was yes, but knew I had to clear this at home since my motherdidn't know Julie. So we walked to our little house to see if this wasok.My mother was getting ready to go out on a date, and my sister wasn'tgoing to be home for a while. So mother said it would be fine if it wasall right with Julie's parents. Julie explained, "My parents are divorcedalso, and I almost never bring anyone home, so when I do, Mom reallylikes it. So.
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