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I begged her forgiveness. She, in turn, explained why we could never be together again. She placed our child for adoption because she knew I would be relentless in my pursuit of them. She feared what that might mean for our daughter if her defenses weakened, if only for a moment. To get back together now, after the sacrifices she had to make, would be to admit she was wrong. That would mean her sacrifice was in vain. We cried together for our lost child. We cried for the loss of innocence. I comforted her, saying it was entirely my fault. She had done what any loving mother would do and put the safety of her child before her own emotional needs. We walked in silence down the tree-lined streets, holding each other’s hand, each grieving in our inner solitude. We spoke of what happened the day I died. Why she left before I awoke (three days later). The devastation I faced due to her absence. I told her what memories my Swiss cheese brain had of the events of that fateful day, and we. Hair was done in a beautiful way and maang tika was attached. Mylittle nose ring was removed and the huge nath was inserted. It was wayheavy than what I had imagined. Then came long earrings in my main earpiercing and numerous smallones in others. My hands were filled withbangles and traditional jewellery. I was enjoying my last few hours as awoman but I was also tensed as the boy was unable to find my phone and Icould get no confirmation from police. I decided that I will search againafter getting ready. But I also believed the officer. Makeup continued andmy neck was adorned with 4 or 5 necklaces. Kamarbadn and payal came afterthat. I was draped in a lehenga which was too heavy for my new delicatebody. It was really hard getting up wearing all that. They applied freshcoats of nail paints of bright red colour and soon I was ready.By the time I got ready the baraat came and everyone left to welcome them.I was alone in my room and started searching for the phone. It was toughto move.
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