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I don’t know if it was a one time thing, or if they kept doing it and I just stayed asleep on other nights ... For all I know it was happening throughout my childhood. They had the dog until I was eleven ... I forgot all about what I’d seen until I started to get intimate with boys ... Then, I think the very first time I had a cock in my mouth, it suddenly it dawned on me what mum was doing all those years ago ... And as I started sucking on it, all I could think of was sucking on a dog ... I was giving my first ever blow-job, and rather than thinking about what I was doing – I was fantasizing about dogs! It was ... Disgusting ... And thrilling ... And that’s what I’ve thought every time I’ve given a blowjob since. I don’t think about it during sex. Only during oral.”“I could decide if what I was remembering was real or fantasy ... Did I really see my mother on the living room floor, sucking our dog’s cock? I started to think maybe it was some kind of a dream, or I had seen something. Those befouled smelly Billy goats. Sickening beasts, smelling of musky urine from them pissing on their own beards, I hated them as a child. Oh, how heavy that smell would be when the summers turned hot. I turned my face from that foul smell then screamed as I was struck hard in my ribs by horns! Again and again I flinched from those hard impacts as the goat butted me over and over. I tried to call out to my … I tried to call out … I tried to call … I tried … ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** There was a wet cloth on my lips. A few drops of water dripping into the back of my throat. I wanted to drink the Nile River dry and I received tiny drops. But oh, those few drops were a blessing I would have wept for, if I had the tears to weep. I was so thirsty. ‘How can I be thirsty if I’m dead?’ I thought. ‘If I’m thirsty I must be alive, yes?’ I opened my eyes to find that I was in fact in Heaven. I must be, for an angel was looking down on me. Her eyes were dark, her face was dark but aglow in the.
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