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Imperial Wizard, I don’t personally know what’s so damn Christian about you and your band of cross-burning, bedsheet-wearing Kluckers, anyway, but I’ve had it up to here with that BS! Yes, I’m cussing! Get over it! My whole life, I’ve tried to be a good Christian, Southern gentleman, and smart businessman, hell, I even voted Republican, and to avoid stirring up trouble in the church, the family, the community, but screw that shit!“I’m gay, Big Brother! Get that? I AM G-A-Y! I’m a fucking faggot, to use your own words! Your brother, the middle child, is a goddamned sodomite, so get used to it! I’m gay and my boyfriend over there is a Puerto Rican! Come over here, Ernesto! I’m tired of acting ashamed. I’m sorry that I ever did! If you’ll forgive my cowardice, I plan to marry you, now that the whole town will know what I am and you are as well!” Evan Jones left no doubt of his outrage by now.“Well, then, see if we ever set foot in this restaurant again! You make good food, but it’s not. Even Milhouse, formerly Bart?sbest friend, said?You?re so hot, Cassie! I wish I was engaged to you rather than Lisa.?Martin Prince, now well into her own transition to Martha Princess,wanted to be friends as a fellow transgender, but she could neverquite restrain her jealousy that Cassie was better looking than shewas.The ageing Moe transferred his secret lust from Marge to Cassie.Resting his hand on her luscious tush (eww!), he said:?Cass, why don?t yah come and work for me in the bar? My customerswould love you. I haven?t had the crank phone calls for several years,but if they start up again, you could answer them.?Only Lisa realised the truth, and promised to help Bart regain hislost manhood. She was tender and sympathetic over his sufferings, butgrew exasperated at his failure to do anything about it.?I don?t know, Lisa. Maybe I was always destined to be a woman?? Bob?ssubliminal conditioning was doing its insidious work.?You need to man up, and resist being feminine. Lots of.
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