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When adolescence brought out its spots and downy genital hair, it also brought the urge to dress in sister’s clothes when no-one else was at home. The feeling of a tight bra and panties contrasting with the airy freedom of a thin cotton dress, whilst perched precariously on high heels, always guaranteed a healthy erection followed by most gratifying hand relief. Oh to be a girl! On one of these occasions, as an eager cock erupted whilst viewing dress and heels in the mirror, ‘Emma’ was realised for the first time.Despite these longings, a strict conforming to the norm was adhered to, and even though now living independently, a veil was cast over ‘Emma’; but an inner yearning burned within and would ensure the release of that alter ego. That release would also be ironic, as it would lead to a life of submissive slavery. A pair of soft printed cotton panties, secreted away from the sister some years before, surfaced amongst other masculine underwear; the urge to put them on was. Two sets of babies feet can be seen as they both kick. Twins were having twins! I jerk awake as that dream world fades to be replaced by my eyes opening onto my bedroom. Although its been over fourteen years since Janet told me of Jewels passing during childbirth. Always after that dream made it felt like yesterday. I again weep for my loss.. Theyre not in my life, I would give up every dime I ever had just to hold them. I hate when my day starts like this, always seems to bring bad things. Janet started her story with this every time. My sister died giving birth to your bastard child. I never believed Janet wholly do to the fact she said child and not twins. I knew it had to be a lie. About Jewels death how and when or about it being twins, this doubt always haunts me. I made Janet tell me the story several times, looking for any inconsistency but she never had any. It felt too rehearsed. Or was I just in denial of Jewels loss. It took a long time but I begin to think clearly.
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