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2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.This one is Compliments of John ACake or BedA husband Is at home watching a football game when his wife Interrupts, honey, could you fix the Light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.He Looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights now? does It Look Like I have "ge" stamped on my forehead? I don't think so.Fine, then the wife asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close Right to which he Replied, fix the fridge door? does It look Like I have "westinghouse" stamped on my forehead? I don't think soFine, she says then you could at Least fix the steps to the front door? they are about to break I'm Not a carpenter and I don't want to fix. Fuck 'em. Fuck it. Fuck everything.I had taken the window seat in the last row in first class this time; gotta love frequent flyer miles. I had a gazillion. They let me upgrade on damn near every flight I took.Most people take first class because they're looking for creature comforts. Not me. Not this time. This time I was scrunched with my back to the window, my laptop in front of me so that no one else could see it. I was looking at a homemade porno, courtesy of Johnny Diamond.Johnny wasn't much of a roommate, as I recall. He was sloppy, dirty and not prone to frequent showering. I had to give him credit, though; he was one hell of a private dick. The movie I was watching was high quality with very little pixilation; high definition, even. My ex-wife and her fucking brother were not being very careful.Why should they? It was all over right? I'll admit that they'd surprised me when they hadn't taken a penny. They'd surprised me even more when they hadn't even taken the house and.
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