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“The ‘S’ stands for ‘Simon,’ does it? I was named after Uncle Troy? What’s that about, I wonder? I wondered how my parents decided upon that name. I always got the impression that Dad never cared for the name. Then again, Uncle Troy was’s Mom’s brother, so maybe there was bad blood between them. There is still much about their marriage that never quite made sense to me. It’s always been a very bizarre mystery to me. I just know that Mom and Dad were never that sane on the best of days, either of them.“Dad just walked out the door to visit parishioners one day and never came back. I was eleven. I never saw him again. After that, Mom just ... popped pills, drank like a fish, and spent more time in psych wards than at work. They let her go and I got sent to Aunt Wendy’s to live from the ages of fifteen to eighteen. Mom sobered up toward the end and tried to get custody of me back, but I was seventeen by them and it was far too late,” I recalled, still hating my parents, but hating Aunt. ‘This house has welcomed and entertained many fine ladies during the recent years. Some of those ladies are, as some of you will recognise, born to the greatest of our country’s families. We have been and continue to be most successful and all of you will reap the benefits of your labours if or when you choose to retire. I have had my new secretary,’ (this was Eleanor, who replaced me in that role), ‘prepare for each of you a brief summary of the monies held by me to your accounts. Do not be alarmed, this is not indicating that I wish any of you to leave, quite the contrary. I felt only that you should see for yourselves how your fortunes are building against the day of your retirement. ‘I have to announce this evening that we are honoured to have been asked to fulfill a particularly important function for one rather special family. Since you will all recognise certain members of that family on the day I have been allowed to give you some particulars. ‘On Saturday of next week we are.
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