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"When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous," she replies. "I like to switch back and forth." When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his Willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed."The guys think this is hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?"She says, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."This one is compliments of PaulAnother Lawyer jokeWhat's the difference between a carp and a lawyer?One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.This one is compliments of WinoWhat do you call a lawyer buried to his neck in sand?A severe shortage of sand.This one is compliments of GaryWhat do you get when you cut 500 bras in half?1000 beanies with chin-straps.These are. Danny was a sick little fucker and I wasn't too bright so he had complete control of me and knowing how I felt about the dog seemed to make him push the dog on me more and more. We had to be somewhat quick with all this because we couldn't be gone too long but we always managed to be gone long enough for me to be used to Danny's satisfaction. I was always careful not to get my knees dirty, which is why I had to squat all the time and to keep my clothes hung on a branch so they wouldn't get dirty. Danny knew enough that if there was anything out of the ordinary from taking the dog for a walk we'd be in big trouble, though he was always telling me I'd be the one in trouble which is why I always did what he wanted. I guess I also liked someone paying attention to me because no one in my house did and I didn't have any friends of my own. One afternoon Danny called me over to the fence right after lunch and was all aggitated that we had to walk Dukie and I needed to tell me mom so we.
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