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On one wall, there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses ... On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.Then the priest came in. I said to him: “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”He replied: “You moron, you’re on my side.”This is compliments of John A.Never ask a woman how she is doing when she is eating ice cream out of the carton.Why don’t I have any tattoos? for the same reason you do not put bumper stickers on a Ferrari.I want it all and I want it delivered. Bette Midler.I might wake up early and go running. I may wake up and find I that I won the lottery. Same odds.I put some Irish whisky in my coffee, BECAUSE IT’S IRELAND SOME WHERE.I WONDER WHY WE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH FINDING LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS WHEN IT IS DIFFICULT TO FIND HERE.I hate it when I gain 10 lbs. for a role. It was Zoe." Zoe? Zoe who?" I think that's what I said. And Megan said what I'm now going to say to you. 'How many Zoes do we know?'" Seriously? Jason's Zoe? How the hell did that happen?" To make a long story short, Megan saw the video online, then one day when Zoe came over before Jason got home from practice, she showed it to her." Megan showed it to Zoe, not the other way around?" Yep." Why?" Because she wanted to impress Zoe, I guess." Did Zoe talk her into making the video?" Fasten your seat belt, Alan. It was Megan's idea."He was momentarily speechless."Are you serious?"I nodded, indicating that I was indeed serious."I know what you mean, Alan. I was pretty surprised myself." Wow," was all Hubby could think to say."Megan has really grown up quite a bit, Alan. Believe me, I wasn't thrilled about the video at first. But the more she explained it to me, and the more we talked in general, the more I could see that she's a lot more together than she was when she lost it over seeing.
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Suddenly there was a rustle behind me as the handsome guyconvinced Lois to take his seat and he stood behind me. During hisexchange with Lois, I learned his name was David and that he was a juniorat a college farther south. Soon the lights went out and we were on theway. As soon as we left town, it was pitch black and I wished I had a seatto catch a nap. It was not a smooth ride and the standing folk were being thrown aboutpretty wildly. As we lurched along, the woman in front of me fell backwardand I fell against David. I apologized to him and he replied, "Noproblem." This continued and I kept apologizing. Finally he said, "Stopapologizing; you feel good." I thought that was a little strange and thenremembered his flirtatious glances. Hmmm. So the next time I fell back, Ijust kind of relaxed there and let our bodies touch. David didn't pullaway and in fact I felt him pushing against my back. My mind was nowracing and I was getting pretty excited. Luckily the road.

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