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“Yes, quite dead, in fact. At 55, no less! Quite tragic, I understand.”The cloaked skeleton pulls a folder from beneath the desk and lets it fall heavily on the desk. It’s monstrous. The amount of paper and clippings inside stretch the folder to its limit and the entire mass has to be held together by rubber bands.“This, my boy, is your life!” It says with glee.You stammer something, unable to form words as its bone fingers tear the bands apart and allow the entire mass of paper to unfold like a book.“Shall we go over the basics? We have much to discuss, I’m afraid!”You don’t have time to respond before the skeleton starts pulling individual papers and forms out of the stack.“You are—well, were—Jonathan Davis and you died of... let me see... oh, I’m afraid I have to keep it secret, for now.”You find yourself leaning forward. Jonathan Davis rings a bell, you think, eyes fluttering as if it’ll help you search your memory better.“You have a wife, Haley, and looks like... 4 kids! Well,”. He gave me some sidelong looks, but I think he picked up on my negative vibe and left me alone.Finally, Denise had to "break the seal" and headed off to the washroom. She was a little put off that I wasn't going to go with her (yes, lesbians go to the washroom in groups too), but I had a little "business" to discuss with Jeremy."So, Jeremy", I began, "do you like Denise?" She's awesome", replied Jeremy, casting his eyes back toward the ladies' washroom longingly."I agree. Would you like to impregnate her?"Heh. I thought spit-takes only happened on TV, but there was now beer all over the table. Quickly grabbing some napkins, he cleaned it up, casting glances all around to make sure no one else had seen or heard."What, are you kidding?" he asked in hushed tones, which is difficult to do in a loud bar.My offer had been delivered in a perfect deadpan, but it made sense that he had to ask -- after all, he had just met us. "Absolutely", I said. "We want a baby, and you look to be.
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