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The demister hoses needed repair with tape. Clare’s slim hands reached into places I’d find almost inaccessible.Dave, one of father’s ex-service friends, called on Boxing Day. Within minutes he was under the bonnet of my car. He found and fixed an air leak on the inlet manifold, adjusted the timing, took out the play on the steering box and made the brakes work properly. I gave him a bottle of the alcoholic drink I’d been given. He and my father had to try it. Clare and I went for a short drive to see what difference the repairs had made.We were dry, warm and the car steered and stopped. It also reached a speed of sixty-five miles an hour. Most of all it felt safe to drive. Clare drove for a while. She liked the car now it was repaired.When we returned Dave and Dad were merry.“Where did you get this drink?” Dave asked.“On Dartmoor, near Bovey Tracey,” I replied.“It’s great but i*****l,” Dave said. “It’s distilled, probably from g****s, and has a great taste. Are you driving any more. No bush to hideOr hold me!Hairless, I stand before ye!Ode To An AMG ModelOh black manWith pearl whitealbino dickhead, ebony shaftblack velvet sacand testicles of polished onyx:Your precious black sapphiresSwingIn a coffee silk sacHairlessThey hangdefenseless andhugeinnocent andarrogant:Tantalizingly arrogant!Oh black manWith pearl whitealbino dickhead:Your balls so bigHangso low in your satin sacCostly gems inOpulent fabricsWith smooth soft feelcatch light and gleambeneaththe albino dickhead.A Bluegrass BalladOh Ah'm bareassedIn th' bluegrassWith my buddyBy my side.Yep, Walkin' bareassedIn th' bluegrass, Hangin' low 'nSwingin' wide.JesSittin' bareassedIn th' bluegrassOr 'pon stallionsWe're astride... T' Bounce bareassedIn th' bluegrass:All eight ballsTake quite a ride!JesPrancin' bareassedIn th' bluegrassNothin' left ferUs t' hide!'CauseWhen yer bareassedIn the bluegrassThere ain't nothin'left t' hi-ide!Taenia for taenia ("For" Book Worm)You see:Book Worm wrote NewsweekRe an essay on.
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