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I know I did you and everyone else wrong. That is why I never reachedout before today. Each time I thought about doing so trying to reconnectjust became harder. I was further away from being able to act likeTophs. I felt like I was a stranger to you. Even with Tophs being partof me, I am different. I am the same at the core, it is just shown in adifferent manner.I felt like you meeting me as Tina would lessen the bond and memories wehad. Until recently I did not have the strength to allow someone to callme by my old name. I much rather have had our bond fade from time thanit fade from who I am. That is just wrong for me to deny you to call meby Tophs, for I am him to you."Oso grinned. "Tina you were Tophs but not anymore. It is not right tocall you that. I know you think it will honor the past by having us doso. We need to honor the present while acknowledging the past. How aboutT 2.0, short for Tophs 2.0. To show you are the new, better version ofan old brother who is now our new. I do have to admit that some of this slut talk really got to me.Just so you know that it wasn't all about sex, I also found some real online friends. We kidded and joked and I looked forward to talking to most of them every night. My life was more about freedom and doing things that I wanted to do. Sex just happened to be where I really missed out.I basically talked on two websites. One was more of a sex talk online and the other was more general where the talk was a lot of jokes and flirting. It was definitely a lot calmer and safer site.I found it was tough to make friends at my age, hard to break into new groups, clubs, as an adult. It was like starting life over again, but as a grown up. I do have to admit it was scary. I didn't go out much because it was hard for me walking into a restaurant alone, thinking people are feeling bad for you, especially if they knew you. I found it much easier to just go to a drive-through or make something for myself at home. It was lonely; I.
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