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’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest. "You're in a relationship." I reminded him. "And?" A swift motion, and his hand was exploring inside my pants, touching places that have never been touched in such a public place like this. I moaned a little at his touch. To be honest, it had been a while since I was touched like that. Work was taking over my life, and I was always too tired to date or even have a booty call come over for a little while. He rubbed my clit, and I was getting hornier by the second, even though I was supposed to be focusing on the salad. By now the customer was probably wondering where the hell I was with their food. I didn't care at the moment, lost in the ecstasy of sex. "Let me fuck you." he said. "I can't.. I need to get to work or I'll get fired. And what if someone comes in here? One of the other employees? Jack?" "Who cares? My dad isn't going to fire you. Trust me." "How do you know?" I asked, as he dipped two fingers in and out of my tight, wet pussy. It felt so good, I didn't want to resist..
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