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. a sane man wouldn't have conversations with his penis. That's my life, folks. Take heed. When that special girl comes along, don't give in to your insecurities. Go for the gusto! Grab for that gold ring!I know what I'm talking about here.Her name was Ruth Ann, and I was madly in love with her. She had curly brown hair, and sparkling blue eyes, and dimples on her cheeks. When I looked at her, I felt all gooey inside. She professed undying love for me too, and when she kissed me, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven.But, I was insecure. I didn't think I had it in me to make a home for her, and keep her happy for the rest of her life. So I let things drift apart. It wasn't like I broke up with her. I just let it wither on the vine. A year later she was kissing Jimmy Hoskins, and didn't know I was alive. I'd been regretting it for two decades, and had been looking for another Ruth Ann ever since.I hadn't found one yet, but I had her grocery list. I was sure of that. I was going to. Immediately the heat was on him."Hey man," the blonde said, almost leaning through the window. "Why don't you watch where you're going, huh? You could've fuckin' killed me, you know. Be my fuckin' luck, too." Yeah, sorry," Glenn said, feeling his face flush. "I didn't see you there." How could you miss me?" she asked. "I was standing right there." I know. Sorry," Glenn repeated.The sound of cicadas swelled in the trees."Well?" she asked, finally."What?" Glenn asked back. All he could think about was how sexy the girl was and how his cock was dangerously close to being exposed.The blonde gave an exasperated sigh. "Can I get a ride, man?" Uh..." Glenn said.He'd been warned about picking up hitchhikers. He'd heard all the stories of highway robbers and murderers, not to mention the bums. But looking at her, she didn't look like any of those things. She was wearing clean clothes, and looked like she'd showered that morning. If she weren't there on the side of the road, it would be easy.
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