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Occasionally, dangerous. Not that I could tell him that anyway. I'm only writing this now because sometimes I just have to let go and talk about it to someone. Writing it out is safer than telling someone. This way I get it out of my system. I'll go back and erase this later. I have detected some suspicion on his part that he realizes I am not just the computer geek I pretend to be. I hope he doesn't think I am hiding my life from him because I'm a prostitute or something like that. It would be easy to come to that conclusion, as many times as I have had to lie to him. That is what hurts the most, not being able to be honest and tell the love of my life the truth.Even if I could tell him what I do, the next obvious question would be why. As much as I love Patrick, I'm not sure I could or would want to answer that question. The memories of what shaped me to this way of life in my early teens are still too painful to even think about.I was a very wild young girl from about 10 to 16. She smelled delicious. Without knowing, she had used Jim's favorite perfume, Obsession. "You may speak freely in your own quarters. What's on your mind, Trina?" Really? Okay then. I just thought you might want to do something with me. At least hug me a little longer. I like hugging you. I mean, except for cleaning you, you haven't made me do anything."Jim looked down on her upturned face, and said. "I did tell you your time was near, didn't I?"She slowly nodded."Well my little pet, your time is now here. You are about to learn a few lessons on being a good pet and pleasing your master. Are you ready for that?"In rapid succession, Trina said. "I think so. I don't know. What do you want me to do? I know so little. I'm a little scared." Shush, my pet. Calm down. We will take all night if we need to. Some things will hurt a little. Some may be disgusting to you. But, you will soon learn all you need to know to please me. Then you can teach Cindy and any other pets I may obtain what to.
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