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How can you experience 59 years and not age? Why would they put us together? How come his ring doesn't place him on the pecking order? I moved into the opposite corner and sat facing him. We sat and stewed for a few hours. My mind was sharp, focusing on my dilemma while, on a deeper level my emotions were all over the place. What was happening to my parents? That's what scared me the most. Bill of rights? If the guards were any indication, I didn't have any rights.I pushed the thoughts of my parents out of my mind. I had to deal with this first."You don't say much."I just looked at Ray. He shook his head and sank back into himself, mumbling. I decided then and there that the man on the old T.V. show was right. Trust no one. As far as I could see, I was well and truly fucked. Unlike humans, these fuckers are organized. Everything they do has a purpose. What do you do when you don't have a clue? Damn, if I know.What do I know? I am in a different dimension. I am surrounded by fuckers. This becomes more difficult after puberty, when your physical appearance fails to keep pace with most of your male classmates. I was always the small, slightly built little blondie, but now, watching the others' voices deepening, their jaws becoming more prominent, their legs hairy, their musculature more obvious, I cursed myself for having none of that noticeably happening to me, as it forced me to work even harder to convince the world that I was a young "man."To complicate matters further, with puberty comes an increased libido, and I found myself masturbating whenever I could, and thinking about sex almost continually. Interestingly enough, I had little fascination for the girls at my school; but the women in the sex magazines and porn tapes, electrified me, and reinforced the notion to myself that I was NOT the dreaded "Queer! I now realize that my fascination with these women was not one of desire to fuck them, but rather, to BE them! I've already written how in one desperate.
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