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"Hi," she said, "I'm Amanda. You must have been boating since you were able to walk!" Hi, Amanda, my name is Jenny and this is my brother, Eddie. We have only been boating since last Christmas." You've got to be kidding," one of the men said. "You drive like you've been doing it a lot longer."Eddie and I finished cleaning the boat as we chatted with our neighbors. After the cleaning supplies were stowed away, my brother and I got off the boat and walked to the stern of the offshore racing boat."Would you guys like a soda or something?" Amanda said. "I don't think your parents would want you drinking beer." A Coke would be fine," Eddie said. "Thank you."Amanda invited Eddie and me to come aboard and join the group. We climbed on their boat, sat down and accepted the Cokes. We learned Amanda and Cliff were boyfriend and girlfriend and the other couple, Meg and Bill, was married."How old are you two?" Meg asked."I'm fifteen and Jen is fourteen," Eddie said."You're only fourteen and can. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked about. I hope that someday we can still be friends. Each day I think. Each day I cry. I cry for the love I had to give up. I cry for the longing I have in my heart. I cry for the future that holds no joy for me. I cry and I wonder how I can go on feeling this way, lost and alone. I cry, with the knowing that I am lost, confused and alone. Each day I cry. Each day I worry. I worry that I can and will not make it. That I will attempt something irrational. That I will give in and surrender to my sorrow, my pain, my sadness. To take the cowards way out, the easy way out, the wrong way out. To write off a world that can be a beautiful place to be. So I worry and hope it never comes to this. I do not wish to contemplate otherwise. The alternative is not pleasant. The alternative is to not go on at all. Each day I worry..
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