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”“I’m not scary!” blurted Randy.Carly wailed anew at his outburst.“Sorry,” he winced.“Go be men,” said Lucy.“We can’t be men without women,” joked Bob.“I was only half joking,” said Sam. “Look what happened last time! As much as these precious, sweet things make me want to have one of my own, I don’t need to be getting all knocked up right now.”“Me either!” chimed in Mallory, still unaware she already was.And so it was that, later that night, the men hopped in Bob’s camper and took off to hunt a deer.They stopped at an all-night convenience store to buy a license and two tags.Things at home calmed down relatively quickly once their mothers’ emotions had calmed. A good, old fashioned gabfest ensued, wherein Sam described in great detail what college life was like, including a lurid rendition of the love nest she had created for her and Randy.“I’m so jealous,” said Mallory. She expressed her jealousy by reciprocating about how Lucy had decided another sister wife would be tolerable.Sam. She tells Mr. F to pack his bags, but he says that he has nothing more than panties to pack. Mrs. F removed all of his clothing from the house. He isn't even sure if his driver's license, passport and birth certificate weren't destroyed. I do a quick search as Mrs. Miata packs the baby, but I find nothing. "I can wear her bathrobe," he says. "No! You will not wear women's clothing when we leave this house. Fetch me some scissors." "Yes, Ma'am." It disturbs me that I have so quickly slipped into my Sister Cate persona and that he so readily and deferentially complies. He returns from the basement, from his territory, with pinking shears. I take the quilt from her bed and cut an opening in the center for his head. I throw it over him and he now has a poncho. With a few more cuts, it is a sleeveless wrap, belted around his torso. It looks odd, but he seems grateful. I strip out of the wedding dress and he throws it on the bed. I dress in my clothes and just before we leave, he pees on.
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