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He knew what the problem was, but she called him that night to tell him anyways. ‘Justin, don’t say anything,’ Amanda said over the phone. ‘We can’t talk anymore. I considered you one of my closest friends, but I can’t believe what you said tonight. I’m flattered you feel the way you do, but you know I’m dating Eric. We’ve only hung out twice since you got back from college and you tell me you love me? You ruined our friendship, and I don’t think I can even see you anymore. I’m sorry, but bye.’ She wasn’t crying as she poured her heart out to him. In fact, Justin noticed that she sounded rather cold. He curled up in his bed and wept silently to himself, knowing that the love of his life was out of his life … probably forever. ———————– Justin didn’t leave his house for the next three days. It wasn’t until his friend invited him to a party – a sort of one year high school reunion, apparently – that he even took a shower. He threw on a pair of khakis and a button down shirt and left the. She spoke of the laughter Valerie would evoke from her when she kicked. The tears she shed into her pillow because I wasn’t there for her. The pressure exerted on her by well meaning friends and family to give her child up for adoption. They were only acting in her best interest and I was not to be trusted. The tears flowed down my face as the gravity of her sense of loss sank in to me. My own fears of hurting her more than I already had, kept me from carrying the battle for our child’s custody becoming a raging court issue. Her family and friends advised me the legal actions I had already taken were devastating her and if I won it would be at the cost of her sanity. I couldn’t hurt her anymore and our child was lost to us. All to soon, the first date ended and I asked if she would speak with me again. She agreed. Letting go of her hand that day was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Our next date proceeded much like the first, walking about the campus discussing what.
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