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"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring."Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.A sandpiper glided by."That's a joy," the child said."It's a what?" It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy."The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed completely out of balance."What's your name?" She wouldn't give up."Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson." Mine's Wendy ... I'm six." Hi, Wendy."She giggled. "You're funny," she said.In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.Her musical giggle followed me."Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day."The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.The. She was my friend and after the funeral,my best friend. Plus, she was pregnant with my now dead brother's child. It was around 6 months after the funeral that I was over atLaurie's house watching a movie with her that we got to talk aboutthings. I had a few beers in me and was starting to open up to her moreand more. We were talking about old stories involving my brother, whenthe topic of my seeing a shrink came up. It must have been the alcoholtalking, but I told her everything about my visits to the shrink. AfterI told her, Laurie just sat there looking surprised; I wanted to get upand go, thinking she was mortified when she said: "Do you still feel like that, like you want to be a girl?" "No" I said but I couldn't look at her when I said it, insteadlooking at my feet. "You're lying aren't you?" I continued to just stand there. "You could have told someone sooner. You could have told me,"Laurie said. "I was embarrassed and ashamed. I still feel ashamed for feelingthis way." "You.
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