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Now I was certain that he was angling for a little peep show to augment the evenings lineup and I was probably going to just give him whatever he asked for but that is not at all what I found. In the garage Ricky had actually made a HUGE improvement in the 2 car. But what he led me to was the golf club set that his dad had bought 2 years earlier, used one time and then never went back. Ricky said “ I found this” the bag had a fifth of Jack Daniels an empty pint of vodka and a partial pint of peppermint schnapps, no big surprises there. Next to that was an un opened 3 pack of condoms and an old faded receipt from the corner liquor store showing all 4 purchases. I quietly looked over the items then told him to put them all back in the golf bag, that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with them yet. I was lying of course but it made it better for me.Shortly after that the Beer King was finally passed out, early at that. It seemed after his “do more”comments to us that Ricky began feeding. I asked Lydia what flavors of condom she carried. That’s when the lady put down the bread and milk and took out her phone. “Lydia started tossing flavored condoms at me. I had no idea there were so many. Who the fuck wants barbecue flavored beef anyway? Therefore, I threw two twenties on the counter and started opening the packages. “I rolled a raspberry flavored condom on his dipstick and took a taste. Nah, raspberry wasn’t the answer. Therefore, I tried strawberry. Better, but still not, what I was after. Blueberry didn’t work either. I was done with the berries and started in on other kinds of fruit. “Did you know they make a kiwi-flavored rubber? I like kiwis, but they didn’t get the taste quite right. I rolled a banana-flavored raincoat on him, but it tasted too real. I bit down. I thought Lydia was going to have a fucking heart attack when Josh screamed.” Josh interjected here. “I offered to buy every banana flavored condom she had if I could just burn them on the spot. Lydia.
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