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" You're five nine," Mel replied, looking James over. "You're notexactly the shortest guy either."James scowled at that, knowing that there was absolutely no way he wasgoing to try out for the team. He'd learned a long time ago that hedidn't do well with any kind of competitive sport, because the morecompetitive it was, the more likely he was to freeze up. In fact, hewas bad with any kind of confrontation, and had even been known to havepanic attacks. There was a reason that half the guys in school calledhim Wimpy Jimmy behind his back."Look," Mel said, giving him a concerned look. "You're gonna have toget over this thing someday. You just need to get involved insomething and push through it. I mean, you don't have a problemplaying out here with me." It's not the same thing," he snapped in annoyance. Even after allthis time as friends, she still didn't understand that this wasn'tsomething he could just get over."It's your turn," Mel reminded James, easily changing the. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady another drink?"Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"Why I Like Retirement!Question: How many days in a week?Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 SundayQuestion: When is a retiree's bedtime?Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.Question: How long does it take retirees to change a light bulb?Answer: It might take all.
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