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..And a rather unpleasant thought occurred to me. A notion sofrightening that I could barely bring myself to considerit."Mother of God," I whispered, looking down. 6Standing closer to the make-up table, I lowered both handsto my panties, gingerly hooking my thumbs through the hipstraps. There really was no other alternative. Sooner or later, I would have to find out how extensive thetransition had been, whether I'd become completely female.There were, of course, a thousand other questions crowdingmy mind, but they'd have to wait. Right now, there wasnothing more important than this. I had to know.Still, I hesitated. The implications were overwhelming.What if my fears were right? What would I do? How could Iexplain this to Mum (Mummy) when she returned from AuntLizzie's (Liesa's)? Maybe she wouldn't even recognise me -nobody would, I'd changed so much. No one would believe mystory, they'd call me a liar, a freakshow. I'd end up in apadded cell! Things were happening too fast; I. I felt guilty for lying to Maggie, but if there was ever something I couldn’t trust her with, it would be this. She just wasn’t great with secrets, and when it was something this important, there was no way I could leave the possibilities to chance. I tried to push that to the back of my head as I surveyed what I had. Of course nothing in my closet seemed appealing at first glance. Maybe Maggie was right, I didn’t really seem to have much in the nice clothes area. Sure I had outfits that could impress parents and teachers (well not this one, but normally), but nothing that was date worthy. Even my parents called me a nun sometimes. And when a father wants his teenage daughter to dress less like an old lady, that’s really saying something. That reminded me of the stuff my mom bought me a few weeks ago. She’d been shopping on one of her three days off and had seen a bunch of stuff that was just ‘so me.’ I’d put it in the back of my closet, figuring I’d just wear it around the house to.
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