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I lay completely still under the covers, desperately trying to slow my breathing to a normal rate, both my hands both still resting inside my pants. All the time hoping that either my door just opened itself or someone had came in and thought I was sleeping so left again. I winced at the thought of someone hearing my moans. I lay there motionless as I listened carefully to see if anyone remained in my room as I felt pressure on the bottom of the bed, I jerked out of the way before realising someone was sat there, on the edge of my bed. Look, Ruby said the mystery man at the bottom of my bed, from the voice I knew it was Colin, he sounded hesitant although I stayed silent. I didnt mean for that to happen, Im sorry. We need to talk he continued, pausing between each word as if he was unsure what to say next. I continued my silence and stayed motionless hoping hed assume I was sleeping and leave. You cant ignore me forever Ruby Colin said as I felt him stand up, relieved that he was. We spent a day at the flea market merrily shopping. We also spent part of another day at the Outlets, although I'm pretty sure it wasn't my idea.Mostly, though, I gave in on small things too unimportant to remember.I do remember discussions about clothing and about my hair because they had a similar theme and a familiar pattern."You need a haircut." It's not bad. I can go for a few more weeks." We have a party this weekend." And?" You need to look good. Don't you get this yet? How you look reflects on me. If I let you go out looking unkempt it says something about how I manage my relationship, about who I chose to marry, about who I am."And there I am at a decision point. I'm going to get my hair cut at some point. We're arguing over when. If I insist on waiting, am I just being petulant? Is this the proper time to discuss why she thinks of it as her relationship and not ours? She could have said that she's proud of how I have maintained my fitness and it makes her happy to share her.
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