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I got home about 11 that night to find my mother sitting in the front room. The TV wasn't on and she was nursing a short tumbler with ice and bourbon in it. She looked up at me and I saw she looked sad. Sad and drunk. She didn't ask where I’d been, she didn't ask if I was OK, but said “I found the bookmark on your computer, it was the last one on the browser. Matt is right, I was a fucking whore.”I didn't want to hear it, she could keep her secret “Mom, don't.” She ignored my plea “I was 18 and experimenting with d**gs and sex. I met this other girl who taught me about girl on girl sex then about two weeks later introduced me to a man who I started screwing too. After a couple nights of getting crazy stoned and fucked out of my mind he promised me a lot of excitement and money for having fun.”Mom looked up at me, took another sip of her whiskey “Sit down Roger, it's time you knew your mother better.” “Mom, you don't ---”She interrupted me, “Yes I do, sit and listen,” she demanded.“He. Tonight was just the 'straw that broke the camel's back, ' but you have been headed towards this, all week." I know you have a lot on your shoulders. I can't even imagine what it must be like to feel responsible for the development of humanity. I don't think anyone could imagine that. But you can't let that shut you down, or change who you are. From the first day I met you, you have been kind and caring. Now isn't the time to stop being those things." So, what do I do? How do I fix this?" Well, for starters you need to stop thinking about yourself. I know it's tough with all the pressure being put on you, but you aren't alone. Those three girls are crazy about you. I know they have already tried several times to tell you how happy they are and to allay some of your fears; but I don't think you really listened to them. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, apologize to them, and remember that we are all behind you." Okay."I was trying not to sound mopey, but it was tough. How.
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